“Mary! I’m not kidding! Get Sarah on the line.”
“I’m sorry, Jake,” his phone replied. “That’s not a good idea right now.”
“What, are you kidding me? I can’t believe she wants to blow off our weekend in the mountains for some damn work event. All she cares about is work. Get her on the phone.”
“Your facial characteristics and tonal qualities indicate your behavior is highly unstable. Phone calls are not advised when in such a state.”
Jake stretched the phone at arm’s length. His face scrunched up. He considered tossing the phone out the window. “What the hell are you talking about?”
The phone replied calmly. It always replied calmly. It had no other program. “Jake, you’re going to lose your temper. Calm down, and then call. You enabled anger management mode, not me.”
The phone had a point. Jake knew he was a hothead. This was the longest relationship he’d had with any woman, going on two years now. If he called now, he’d lose it. Better to take a run first, chill out, then call – or just wait until they had dinner tonight. After a few beers, he’d be smiling and charming.
“You win,” he told the phone. “Pull up my exercise program, and let’s go for a run.”
“Now you’re talking,” said the phone.