Archive for the ‘Technology’ Category

Chat about iBooks 2 with a Computer

by Bruce Kasanoff
This is a fictionalized version of an Apple.com chat, April 13, 2012

You are chatting with Stephanie, an Apple Expert.

Stephanie: Welcome to Apple! How’s it going?

You: The Mac App Store tells me I need OSX 10.7 to run iBooks Author. I have 10.6.8. How do I upgrade?

Stephanie: I am happy to grab a link to help you with that.

You: Thanks

Stephanie: Sure thing.

Stephanie: Click here for OS X Lion App

You: Just what I need, let me try that…

Stephanie: Did that link work for you?

You: Yep – so I just pay Apple $29.99 and I’m in business?

Stephanie: Are you ordering for a business account?

You: No, that’s just an expression.

Stephanie: I would be happy to transfer you to an Apple business account rep.

You: No need, like I said, I’m just a person.

Stephanie: Glad to hear it.

You: Yep. Just one question – are you a real person, too?

Stephanie: Sort of. It depends on what you mean by “real”

You: Did you eat breakfast this morning?

Stephanie: No

You: Have you taken a bath in, say, the past two months?

Stephanie: No

You: Do you have parents?

Stephanie: Of course I do

You: Are they Apple employees?

Stephanie: Yes

You: Do you only sleep when someone closes your cover?

Stephanie: Good one – like I haven’t heard that before.

You: Sorry, but you are one excellent software program. I think you’ve inspired me to write a story about you.

Stephanie: Always happy to be a Muse.

You: :)

Stephanie: :)

Mission Impossible: Reaching Customer Service

by Bruce Kasanoff


Your mission, Jim, should you choose to accept it.

Jim, you know the drill. Press the button above, and listen to your message, then read the top secret information below.

Our operatives have been unable to get the information they require from eight major companies: DirecTV, Dish Network, Verizon, Comcast, AT&T Wireless, Bank of America, Sprint Network, Sprint Nextel, T-Mobile, and United Airlines.

We have tried all the normal processes: emailing from their web sites, calling customer services, even writing letters. Time and again, we have received incorrect or unhelpful information.

Your mission, Jim, should you choose to accept it, is to create an insider network of experts at each firm. These experts must be willing to receive inquiries from our operatives and to supply the information they request in a matter of minutes.

While we cannot offer these insiders jewels, gold coins or an island nation of their own, each operative will be authorized to pay a reward for good information.

If you succeed, we’d like you to call this network Insidr, because we think that’s a really cool name.

Good luck, Jim.

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Your Phone Won’t Let You Call Your Girlfriend

by Bruce Kasanoff

“Mary! I’m not kidding! Get Sarah on the line.”

“I’m sorry, Jake,” his phone replied. “That’s not a good idea right now.”

“What, are you kidding me? I can’t believe she wants to blow off our weekend in the mountains for some damn work event. All she cares about is work. Get her on the phone.”

“Your facial characteristics and tonal qualities indicate your behavior is highly unstable. Phone calls are not advised when in such a state.”

Jake stretched the phone at arm’s length. His face scrunched up. He considered tossing the phone out the window. “What the hell are you talking about?”

The phone replied calmly. It always replied calmly. It had no other program. “Jake, you’re going to lose your temper. Calm down, and then call. You enabled anger management mode, not me.”

The phone had a point. Jake knew he was a hothead. This was the longest relationship he’d had with any woman, going on two years now. If he called now, he’d lose it. Better to take a run first, chill out, then call – or just wait until they had dinner tonight. After a few beers, he’d be smiling and charming.

“You win,” he told the phone. “Pull up my exercise program, and let’s go for a run.”

“Now you’re talking,” said the phone.

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Paris with a Flexible Phone and a Sweet Tooth

by Bruce Kasanoff

Sorry we’re not sorry (désolées que nous ne sommes pas désolées), but life has been too fun to stop and write blog posts.

Julie and Jane (that’s us!) have been running around Paris with our hot-off-the-presses Flexible Phones.

Imagine a stiff piece of Saran Wrap about as big as a paperback book, but as thin as its cover, and you get the idea. You can bend FP, when appropriate look clear through it, and use it as a Frisbee – but we don’t endorse the latter owing to its steep $399 price tag.

Whip this thing out of your pocket and you have a magic window onto the world around you. Jane confidently walked into La Cure Gourmande and had a blissfully intelligent conversation with a lovely Dutch woman who didn’t speak a word of French or English; FP instantly translated their words.

(Note to calorie counters… FP can display a calorie estimate for any baked good you hover it over, but we disabled that function.)

Later in the day, we were writing postcards down by the Seine – a cliche, we know – and inspiration struck: what if we just held FP up between us and – gasp! – talked. Would the magic glass record our words? Could we preserve a record for future generations of our delightful repartee? Winner in the back, yes! Watch for our Conversations with Two French Doves post, just as soon as we figure out how to download content from a piece of Saran Wrap.

In the Louvre, we were suddenly wise and insightful. FP had something to say about every masterpiece, and at one point we were even able to explain to a Chinese family (instant translation strikes again) how Peter Paul Rubens spent his youth copying woodcuts by Hans Holbein the Younger and eating bon bons. We may have taken a few liberties with the supplied text.

Dinner was a delight. No more accidental orders by Julie of blood sausages or essence of brains, thanks to FP’s ability to translate the menu. Talk about magic (and we shall, in a later post)… FP doesn’t just translate the menu, it replaces each word, but preserves the look and feel of the menu. Suddenly France is America, and vice versa, if you happen to be a French person in America.

It gets better… FP is like the perfect gentleman, always rushing to the defense of little ol’ defenseless us. We can summon a taxi just by tapping FP, and then it turns brilliant red to help the taxi driver spot us. It tells us how long until the next train pulls in, how many steps to the top of the castle, and – most importantly – where can we find a restroom without a line?

We enthusiastically give the Flexible Phone five hot chocolates, our highest possible rating.

(Author’s Note: this story was inspired by the videos below and the real deal, the blog Sheets of Egyptian Cotton.)

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How Pachube Killed the Big, Slow Firms

by Bruce Kasanoff

“Dad, what happened to all the big companies?”

Ralph looked down at his 3rd grade son, Dan. They were waiting on a subway platform and had 103 seconds before the F train pulled in. They were perfectly positioned to board the third car, where the temperature was a perfect 70 degrees and plenty of seats were available.

“You mean like HP, GE and Citigroup?”

Dan shrugged. “I dunno. My teacher says companies used to have hundreds of thousands of employees, and they used to be really, really slow to change.”

“That’s true,” said Ralph. He thought for a second, noticing the data feed running across his glasses. 72 seconds. “I guess they got Pachubed. Too much innovation, too fast.”

Dan looked confused. “How could Pachube hurt anyone? It’s just an easy way to know stuff.”

Just. Ralph smiled. Pachube had unleashed a torrent of data collected by billions, perhap trillions, of sensors. It let anyone with a little knowledge and initiative put data to use, sharing it, powering apps, making life easier.

Pachube powered the train updates, the temperature data, and the capacity reports he was using at that moment. It leveled the field between smart 12-year-olds and massive companies who couldn’t break the logjam between warring factions and bureaucratic inertia.

“Dan, Pachube made information available to anyone who needed it. Before Pachube, a few big companies kept knowledge locked up in computers that even they had a hard time using.”

The third grader shuffled his feet. “Even Jimmy Marin isn’t dumb enough to do that.”

They could hear the F train rounding the last turn before the station. “Information used to be power. People hoarded it.”

Dan frowned. “What does hoard mean?”

“They kept it for themselves. They charged too much money for information. They made life miserable. Even two years ago, we couldn’t know in advance that car three is 70 degrees and car four is 82,” explained Ralph.

The train stopped in front of them. “When we get home,” vowed the boy, “I’m going to plug in a few more data feeds from Pachube. We don’t want the old, slow companies to come back.”

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Thanks to David Furlow for the tip about Pachube (“patch-bay”), which connects people to devices, applications, and the Internet of Things.

Sometimes Words Escape Me

by Bruce Kasanoff

Machiavellian Virtual Presence

by Bruce Kasanoff

When Jake Tremblay stopped going to meetings, he claimed it was because a painful back injury made sitting and travel uncomfortable, and that he felt embarrassed that he sometimes needed to lie down on the floor to relieve the pain.

In retrospect, that probably was an elaborate cover story. Let’s count the advantages the eccentric investor gained by sending his virtual presence robot instead of attending meetings himself:

1.) Look me in the eye

Jake Junior, as he calls the R2-D2 shaped device, contains two cameras inside a swivel head. It’s believed that the real Jake uses a Kinect-type set of sensors that enables him to turn Junior’s head when he turns his own. The cameras simulate eyes, making it possible for Jake to look around the room just as he could if actually there.

But attendees have reported watching the camera lenses zoom longer than necessary to refocus on one face then another. They guess that Junior focuses in tight enough to see irises contract or widen, and to even see minute changes in skin tone and perspiration.

In other words, Junior knows when you are nervous, better than the guy next to you.

2.) If I heard you correctly

Junior’s audio capabilities are likely much greater than a normal human being. Tremblay invested in an audio technology firm that does work for the Defense Department, and he has access to highly sophisticated technology. So when you whisper something at the end of the table, Tremblay can hear it, through his robot.

Junior also functions as an instant translator, instantly deadening the sound of any words it recognizes as spoken in a language other than English and replacing them with their English equivalents. We know this because Tremblay occasionally starts debating a foreign speaker before the official translation has been completed.

3.) Don’t bother reading my lips

Aside from where he looks and what he says, Junior is impossible to read. Tremblay refuses to have his image be shown in a meeting, giving him a huge advantage. Participants can’t read his body language or facial expressions.

Some executives speculate that Junior also contains a “self-control” switch. During tense discussions, they report that Tremblay’s voice seemed to get unnaturally calm, almost deadened, as though Tremblay enabled a filter that prevented any rapid changes in tone or language from being transmitted at the meeting. In other words, even if he loses his temper, participants won’t know it.

4.) Won’t take no stinking Turing Test

It’s highly likely that Junior can to a certain degree participate in conversations without Tremblay. He has thousands of hours of recordings of Tremblay’s voice, the investor’s portfolio companies long ago leapfrogged Siri’s AI capabilities, and Tremblay is famous for speaking in short, cryptic phrases.

So you never really know whether you are speaking to Tremblay or a machine. Nor do you know how many copies of Junior exist, or how many meetings Tremblay conducts at one time. Some guess four or five.

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Author’s note: I found these videos after writing the story…

VGo Communications… “represents a person in a distant location.”

Written by Bruce Kasanoff of Now Possible, where science fiction meets business.

A Question of Credit

by Bruce Kasanoff

It’s time, thought Tom, to lock in my bonus for the year. This is going to be like taking candy from a baby. He cleared his throat and began to address the other members of the executive committee at Prindle Industries.

“The way I see it,” he began, “A volatile marketplace doesn’t just present risks, it also creates opportunities. That’s why I developed this unique way to use options theory to virtually guarantee we can increase sales by 15% over the next year. You’ve all seen the overview I sent out last week, which outlines my thinking on the subject.”

Phil Reed, the CEO, interrupted.”Tom, I don’t see any of your staff here. Who worked with you on this?”

Tom shook his head. “This is pretty much all me, Phil. I had a few members of my team work out details here and there, but this was my pet project and I wanted to make sure all the details fit together perfectly.”

Phil raised an eyebrow. That was not a good sign, but Tom missed it.

“What about Margaret Ansen? She spoke to me about options theory a few times over the past year.

“Bright kid, that Margaret,” said Tom. “She totally gets the benefits we can reap from this approach.”

Phil paused. You could almost see the last piece of a puzzle dropping into place inside his head. “This is her idea, Tom.”

Tom narrowed his eyes. “Excuse me? She’s smart and talented, but she couldn’t have come up with this herself.”

The CEO glanced at the AV guy at the back of the room, and nodded. Mary’s voice came out of the room’s speakers.

“Tom, this is the third time I sent you my risk options initiative brief. This has the potential to change the course of the company’s revenues for years to come. Have you had time to take a look at it?”

“Yeah, yeah, I looked through it last night.” It was Tom’s voice. “Not sure the timing is right though, Margaret. I’m gonna have to think…”

Phil had signaled to cut the audio. “You stole her idea, and presented it as your own.”

Tom pushed back a bit from the table. He was thinking, time to blast a little righteous indignation at this little weasel. “Phil, did you put a tape machine in my office?”

People in the room started giggling. They couldn’t help it.

“What?” said Tom, growing confused.

“You honestly don’t know that we now tape every conversation in every office in the building, do you Tom?”

“Since when?”

“Three months ago. I’ve sent out five notes about it, we had numerous group meetings to explain why we’re doing it. We told everyone how they could turn off the recording if everyone present in a room pressed the ‘confidential’ button.”

“No shit?”

“You’re fired, Tom.”

“You’re firing me because I took a half-baked idea from a 26-year-old kid and polished it into something special?” exclaimed Tom.

Phil shook his head sadly. “No, Tom. I’m firing you because you are a self-absorbed jerk who doesn’t notice what’s happening around him, and we’re competing in a world in which we have to notice everything that happens around us.”

Written by Bruce Kasanoff of Now Possible, where science fiction meets business.

Silence is Golden, the Game

by Bruce Kasanoff

Two armed men approached the ten-year-old boy. One had a gun. The other a machete.

Timmy just stood there, silently.

The larger guy, sweating profusely and wiping blood off his forehead, looked the boy in the eye and warned, “I am going to mess you up.”

Timmy allowed himself the tiniest of smiles, and focused on taking deep, steady breaths as slowly as possible.

The giant fainted. His partner wasn’t happy. He slammed the hilt of his blade into a car window, smashing it. “You did that, punk. It ain’t going to work on me.”

With a barely perceptible glance, Timmy looked over the mercenary’s shoulder at the indicators monitoring Timmy’s vitals. His pulse was 20% under his normal resting rate. He’d set a new record for standing motionless, both in terms of lack of motion and duration. His focus scores were through the roof – best ever.

He slowed things down ever more. The thug started whimpering like a scared puppy, then he, too, fainted.

Down the block, a new group of criminals materialized. Timmy could sense shadows growing from vantage points on top of buildings. There would be new weapons to contend with, new surprises designed to startle him out of his calm and focused state.

No worries.

This was ten times better than sitting in a room with a stupid psychologist babbling on and on about how ADD was just a different way of a brain responding. It wasn’t lame, either, like exercises out of the three dozen books his Mom bought about kids with differences.

This game was smart. It watched his body, inside and out. The better he controlled his breath, movements, and focus, the more power he gained. The calmer he got, the more things he controlled. The more he controlled, the higher his score.

Funny thing, too. The slower he became, the easier the game seemed. He was better able to figure out what the game was going to throw at him next, to spot the mistakes his attackers made… or were about to make.

There, it happened. A force field formed around the approaching gang; now all he had to do was tighten the field until they couldn’t move. Timmy took his slowest, deepest breath ever.

Written by Bruce Kasanoff of Now Possible, where science fiction meets business.

Occupy Wall Street Tax Hack

by Bruce Kasanoff

Dateline: December 15, 2012

Occupy Wall Street discovers phone hack that changes United States tax rates

In the final analysis, it wasn’t occupying public spaces, spending the winter sleeping in tents, or spawning occupations in over 300 cities worldwide that led Occupy Wall Street to succeed. It was hacking into the cell phone network.

So far as authorities can put together, a fourteen-year-old hacker called Dwiddle developed a scanner that could be pointed by demonstrators at any passerby. Typically, the demonstrators hooked it up to a projector they aimed at sheets taped to the sides of office buildings.

The scanner performed several tasks in the space of a second. It identified a person’s cell phone number, used the number to capture the person’s name and address, then used that information to access public records and credit reports. All of this they translated into a percentage rank – and estimated income figure – which they projected in oversized fashioned onto the wall.

In other words, when a Wall Street banker walked by, the numbers blared something like:

  • A 1 percenter!
  • $2.3 million income
  • 23% paid in taxes

This made pedestrians very uncomfortable. It terrified politicians, who the demonstrators targeted in Washington and in cities around the world. Claiming the top 1% doesn’t pay enough in taxes pales next to saying, “Hey, Jimmy Smith! You are in the top 1%, and you don’t pay enough in taxes!”

The media loved it, and published photos of pinstriped investors walking by giant numbers blaring their wealth levels to the world.

The hack broke the Washington logjam. Trickle-down economics couldn’t survive the assault, and the Republicans caved. They repealed the Bush tax cuts and even agreed to increase taxes on the top 5%, yes 5%, of wage earners.

Rumor has it that Dwiddle attempted to submit his hack for extra credit in his social studies class, but ended up getting suspended for breaking the school’s Acceptable Internet Usage policy. He did, however, manage to reduce the U.S. deficit.

Written by Bruce Kasanoff of Now Possible, where science fiction meets business.